I know people wouldn't spend their time reading this, but I like to write (even though there has been tons of neglect) here just to jog my memory when I read this back a few days/months/years from now.
I think this week might be the most miserable week for me.
I totally have lost all interest in the games I play.
I lost all interest in the job I do.
I just want to quit. But I can't. And compared to last year, this year seems easier because I know the ropes, but I just can't seem to find motivation these days. Even in games.
Today I went to Altona by train to play badminton. I guess, when I saw the CBD from afar, I think I've failed to realise how blessed I am to be here. It's like I had an out-of-body experience. I used to imagine myself being in other countries (apart from Malaysia) like London, Paris etc. But I'm surprised it took me 7-8 years to realise I'm in Melbourne. Even so, when I remember about how this week has panned out, I've become so uninterested in living. I used to be able to say I would look forward after a day's work to playing computer games at night, but even know I feel like it's a chore. I need a break, but I just can't think of when.
These days, I get so easily annoyed. I have no idea why. It's like none of my friends are safe from being discriminated by me. I can easily fault all of them. Obviously everyone has their faults, but it just seems like whatever fault they have, I just somehow manage to magnify their problems and become even more irritated.
I'm just so lost now.
